Insensitivity

Why do people think that it is totally acceptable to ask about a persons reproductive status?  I have had it happen to me numerous times, I have seen it happen to my friends, I saw it play out on a friends facebook today.  All variations of the same question. It starts before you have even had one kid and gets worse from there.  "When are you having kids?" "Oh, is he your ONLY child?" "Are you planning on having more kids?" "So, when are you having another kid?" "You know it is best to have them close together so they can entertain one another!" "He's so adorable, you just have to have more kids."
Here's the thing people, my reproductive plans are of no concern to you.  Back before I was pregnant, I always wondered - "What would happen if I didn't want kids?  Do you have to field these questions, these looks, forever??" After I had Luke, it didn't improve.  What if I only wanted one kid?
Or worse yet, what if I am someone with recurrent early pregnancy loss, and your questions kill me every single time?
No one considers that.  People just feel that it is somehow totally fine to constantly question me about having kids.  And it isn't just me, it is every female in my age range.  No one considers that it is none of their damn business.  People who don't ask these questions are people who have had problems.  For people who haven't had them, they don't know the sting of having to field the questions again and again.  They don't consider that people have things happen in life like infertility and miscarriage.  They don't understand that an early pregnancy loss still stings.  A lot.
So to those people, I say, yes, I would love to have another baby.  I would love for Luke to be an older brother.  But guess what?  My body doesn't cooperate.  I had a miscarriage before I had Luke.  I had a chemical pregnancy over the summer.  And I am currently going through another miscarriage.  I don't want to answer all your questions, but I realize that you don't know what I am going through.  Society norms, and people who don't have pregnancy naivete, know that you don't mention a pregnancy early because "What if?"
But then when "what if" happens, you have no one to turn to.  No one knows what you are dealing with, and you suffer in private.  You don't get to make a happy announcement, and you don't get to share your sad news because it is somehow taboo.  Which is unfair, and I hope someday it will change.  But for now, this is how it is.  A journal post on a blog that no one will see, but maybe it will help...

Goodness, this still exists?

So 2 years ago I totally thought I would start a blog. It would be mature, different from my college blog, impressive. A sight to see. Instead I made 3 blog posts, one about a dust storm, and was done. Well, I definitely have become responsible, though I'm still no more organized than I was 2 years ago. I have a handsome little guy in my life now, and I'm doing pretty well with him, so that's a win. :) I installed the app for blogger, so maybe I'll actually keep up with it this time... Who knows...
Until then, here's a cute picture. If I don't blog more, at least you have that to keep you going. Haha.

Dust!

July and August are miserable in Arizona. It is a known fact. June is only so-so, but July is where the shit hits the fan and life feels like it is being lived in an oven. "Dry heat" is all well and good, but you know that blast of heat that hits you in the face when you open your oven? That is what it feels like when walking outside. Good times. Ha. July also brings the fun of MONSOONS! Though I don't really like storms (I'm afraid of wind) I do look forward to monsoons. I have had my bad experiences, but I still look forward to it every year. The only problem is that then life is hot, but no longer dry. Humidity with 110+ temps is a unique experience, one that no one should be forced to witness. Last summer, I had a job where I worked outdoors. I am exceptionally glad I don't have that again this year, just at this moment. It would be 8am and I would already have sweated through my clothes and my hair had already frizzed out. Not a fun time.
Anyway, I got off topic. Tonight brought a dust storm! I love watching these blow in - as long as I am safely indoors. I have memories as a kid of running from my aunt's house around the block to mine to beat the incoming dust storm. Oddly that is a good memory - it was fun watching them blow in. And then my mom and I would sit on the trunk of her car in the carport and watch the dust storm and frequently the lightening and rain show that would follow.

A dust storm rolling in... (This picture is not mine, I got it from here)

Here are some pics from the storm tonight that I took with my phone:

Not sure why they are so tiny. I am still working on the picture adding feature here... haha.

So sleepy!

Today was a busy day!! We had some friends driving over to our side of town (they are about an hour away) to meet up at the dog park with the pond in it so all the pups could play. Augie had a blast, again! He wouldn't jump off the dock this time though. Then we had lunch at a restaurant with an outdoor picnic area so we could bring the dogs, and then, if that wasn't enough outside time, came back to our house to swim. It was "cooling down" this weekend, all the way to 102 (actual quote from the weather man... gotta love the desert!) so all the outside time was fun. Won't be so fun when the humidity kicks in next month, but for now it isn't too hideous. The downside of today is that my "fearless" cat got traumatized by one of their dogs. I don't really know what the dog did besides corner him and chase him (which is where we managed to catch the dog) but 8 hours later and my cat is STILL totally freaked. Poor baby. He'll get better, but it is sad to see him skulking about.

After all this happened, we did more work on the nursery. By "we" I mean "Mark," though I did help out some. He got all the wainscoting up, and is painting it right now. I went and spackled over all the nail holes, and also marked all the studs in the room for when he puts up the chair rail. Really close to being done! All that is left after he paints is the baseboard and the chair rail, then then the touch up paint on those! *Fingers crossed* those go up smoothly. Then he can clear out all of his tools and I can get to work clearing out the closet. It is the nicest closet of the 3 bedrooms, and since it used to be our office, it ended up catching all of the crap we didn't feel like dealing with when we moved in. Yes, that was almost 3 years ago and it is still full of crap. But with me being home more, I have a plan. I also got a notice that a Goodwill truck is coming by in 2 weeks so I can get rid of a bunch of my stuff! YAY! So I have a deadline to have stuff dealt with. Then we should be able to focus on organizing the front part of the house, the filing cabinet and then - after all that - we should have a house that looks like responsible adults live in it. Kind of a scary transition. We've been trying to make the transition for years but never really had the push to do it. With Luke on the way, now we need to have our house - and our lives - more in order. And since I'm unemployed currently, I really have no excuses. It started with small changes: making sure laundry was getting folded and put away in a timely manner and not abandoned on the dryer, getting a running grocery list going for my weekly shopping trips (yes, I did not grocery shop regularly before), making a dinner schedule and actually cooking regularly, etc. It is kind of fun, but it is getting tiring trying to get everything organized. I know once I get it there it will be easier to keep up, but getting there is exhausting!

Anyway, that is my newest snippet and my newest goal. Hopefully I can meet it. If I get that done before the middle of July I will feel so accomplished, I might consider getting myself my trophy for my mantle, just like in my favorite blog post ever. :) Now I am exhausted from my day in the heat and the sun, and need to go to sleep! Zzzzzz.....

And so it starts!

I blogged when I was in college. Just nonsensical stuff about my day, funny quotes of the day, shoutouts to my new boyfriend... it was a fun thing for me to do. And after reading some blogs that friends have, I thought it would be something I would enjoy again. A lot has changed since my college days. Hopefully I'll still have periodic funny quotes, and I married the boy I used to give shout outs to, so this is my journey into becoming a real adult. Organizing my house, having a place for my mail, grocery shopping and cooking dinners regularly, and starting a family beyond just my pets. Don't worry, I don't plan on my blog being a journal of what I cleaned that day! Should be more interesting than that, hopefully. Welcome. :)

(also a thank you to http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ for the inspiration for my blog title!)