Insensitivity

Why do people think that it is totally acceptable to ask about a persons reproductive status?  I have had it happen to me numerous times, I have seen it happen to my friends, I saw it play out on a friends facebook today.  All variations of the same question. It starts before you have even had one kid and gets worse from there.  "When are you having kids?" "Oh, is he your ONLY child?" "Are you planning on having more kids?" "So, when are you having another kid?" "You know it is best to have them close together so they can entertain one another!" "He's so adorable, you just have to have more kids."
Here's the thing people, my reproductive plans are of no concern to you.  Back before I was pregnant, I always wondered - "What would happen if I didn't want kids?  Do you have to field these questions, these looks, forever??" After I had Luke, it didn't improve.  What if I only wanted one kid?
Or worse yet, what if I am someone with recurrent early pregnancy loss, and your questions kill me every single time?
No one considers that.  People just feel that it is somehow totally fine to constantly question me about having kids.  And it isn't just me, it is every female in my age range.  No one considers that it is none of their damn business.  People who don't ask these questions are people who have had problems.  For people who haven't had them, they don't know the sting of having to field the questions again and again.  They don't consider that people have things happen in life like infertility and miscarriage.  They don't understand that an early pregnancy loss still stings.  A lot.
So to those people, I say, yes, I would love to have another baby.  I would love for Luke to be an older brother.  But guess what?  My body doesn't cooperate.  I had a miscarriage before I had Luke.  I had a chemical pregnancy over the summer.  And I am currently going through another miscarriage.  I don't want to answer all your questions, but I realize that you don't know what I am going through.  Society norms, and people who don't have pregnancy naivete, know that you don't mention a pregnancy early because "What if?"
But then when "what if" happens, you have no one to turn to.  No one knows what you are dealing with, and you suffer in private.  You don't get to make a happy announcement, and you don't get to share your sad news because it is somehow taboo.  Which is unfair, and I hope someday it will change.  But for now, this is how it is.  A journal post on a blog that no one will see, but maybe it will help...

Goodness, this still exists?

So 2 years ago I totally thought I would start a blog. It would be mature, different from my college blog, impressive. A sight to see. Instead I made 3 blog posts, one about a dust storm, and was done. Well, I definitely have become responsible, though I'm still no more organized than I was 2 years ago. I have a handsome little guy in my life now, and I'm doing pretty well with him, so that's a win. :) I installed the app for blogger, so maybe I'll actually keep up with it this time... Who knows...
Until then, here's a cute picture. If I don't blog more, at least you have that to keep you going. Haha.